Pet Jokes!

So… just for fun, I thought I would share a few CLEAN pet jokes. I hope you enjoy!

 

Pet jokes - Animal Jokes

Q: What’s invisible and smells like carrots???

A: Bunny farts!

 

Q: Why are dogs such bad dancers?

A: Because… they have two left feet!

 

Q: Why did the chicken say, “Meow, oink, bow-wow, and moo?”

A: He was studying foreign languages.

 

Q: Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

A: To get a mini soda!

 

Q: Why did the cow cross the road?

A: To get to the udder side.

 

Q: Why do fish live in salt water?

A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!

 

Q: How does a dog stop a video?

A: With the “paws” button.

 

Q: Why does a dog wag his tail?

A: Because no one else can wag it for him.

 

Q: What do you call a fish without an eye?

A: Fsh!  (Ok.. this one works better when said aloud…)

 

Q: What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A: A chili dog on a bun.

 

Q: What do you call the cow that eats your grass?

A: A lawn moo-er.

 

Q: What is black ,white and red all over?

A: A sunburnt penguin!

 

Q: How do you make a goldfish old?

A: Take away the g!

 

Q: What has four legs and says “Oom, Oom”?

A: A cow walking backwards!

 

Q: What is a cheetahs favorite food?

A: Fast food!

 

Q: What do you call a bear cub with no teeth?

A: A gummy bear!

 

Q: There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

A: None, they were copycats!

 

Q. How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

A. You put him in the front seat.

 

Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?

A: Nothing silly, peanuts don’t talk.

 

Q: What animal was the first into space?

A: The cow, he jumped over the moon!

 

Q: Why do cows wear bells?

A: Their horns don’t work.

 

Q: Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

A: To hide in a bag of M&M’s.

 

Q: What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A: A tyrannosauraus wreck!

 

Q: What fish only swims at night?

A: A starfish.

 

Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

A: He felt funny.

 

Q: What does a calf become after it’s 1 year old?

A: 2 years old.

 

Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

A: I don’t know. I didn’t think sheep could knit!

 

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, “Where were you during the first half?” He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.